Nightmare Date Experience

Nightmare Date Experience
Blind date
Nightmare date experience
Set up
Nightmare date experience
Personal ad
Nightmare date experience
Second cousin
I don’t want to go on a nightmare date experience

He was coming down to see me
He stockpiled cardboard soda-pop boxes
Would he stay all night, would we call it quits?
I can’t plan that far ahead

I’m all dressed up and he asked me to go
Reception at the Elks Club, expensive rum and Coke
I wrapped the present and I sang at the wedding and
He’d like to date the bride

He said, “Can I get much further?”
She said, “Oh geez I forgot my wallet”
Bop bop badabop bop bop ba da…

Red alert, red dress
Red shoes, red scarf, thigh-high garter belt
I’m so scared her breasts are falling out
She got the steak and I paid the bill

Arts and crafts straw wreath on the wall
Intolerant, sexy, and six feet tall
Pontoon ride I can’t escape
She don’t date guys with hair longer than her
Even though I cut it off years ago

He said, “Is that a real wedding ring?”
She said, “Do you mind if I borrow your favorite sweater for a little while?’
Bop bop badabop bop bop ba da…

I don’t want to have a nightmare date experience
A nightmare date experience that I don’t want to have…
How much more can my ego take
I’m wasting my life on this horrible date
I’m so lonesome I’ll take the punishment
So let’s go on a date

I don’t want to have a nightmare date experience
A nightmare date experience that I don’t want to have…
No I don’t want to have a
Nightmare date experience